Interracial Dating (RRR #7)

Reem Raw: Yo, yo, yo! What's good? It's Reem Raw, I'm back. Reem Raw Radio, Fresh Perspective. It get's the people goin! What's up ya'll? Let's get right into it. My man Cameraman, we in the Bat Cave doing our 1's and 2's. Shout out to my whole Urban Erotic Tales group. All my members that keep the group poppin, this for ya'll. So the question I've been getting to my Gmail is "What's your perspective on interracial dating?" Cameraman, this is a hot button topic.

Interviewer: Yeah it is. You know, people get a little sensitive and touchy on this topic.

Reem Raw: Yeah man, shit this is 2015 people. Shit that was taboo back then is the norm now. You might as well get used to it. Man listen, a lot of my homies... They want white liquor, white women, and white toilet seats! You know what I'm sayin? It's all good. Like, "White is right!" A lot of my dogs, that's what they get. Now let's delve into the intricacies of it. Is it because white women used to be taboo and they're looked at like as trophy pieces now? Like "Dog, I got this white chick. I'm doin it!" Like a status symbol? It's a slippery slope. It's a real slippery slope.

 Interviewer: Ain't no telling, I don't know what it is. I guess it depends on the person.

Reem Raw: Yeah, it's all about the person. Listen, love is blind ya'll. Love is really blind, but I said this a lot of times and I'll say it again. If you're familiar with me... everything, every love, every word of encouragement, every hug, every kiss, every cup of hot soup when I was sick has come from a black woman. So me as a black man, I feel like I have to reciprocate that love back to a black woman. My perception of beauty is what I've grown up with: black queens. My mom, my aunts, family members, my community... that's just what I give it up for. That's who they worked hard and strived to raise to give back to my black queens. That's how I'm comin with it. But, shit is crazy in the streets right now!

Interviewer: I mean, that's cool and I feel that. It's just... you gotta wonder if you was a person who grew up outside of a traditional black community, are you still expected to be exclusively into people of the same race as you? If that's not what's available to you? Or, you could like black women but maybe they don't like you like that. You may not be the typical cool black dude. Maybe you got white boy ways or tendencies or you have no swag. Maybe the sistas just not checkin for you. At the end of the day, the way I look at relationships, it's supply and demand man. Whoever demands what you're supplying... listen, let's take it to the black women. I feel it would be kind of selfish of me as a black man to expect a black woman to wait for me or whoever is black in order for her to start being happy. Because for women, it's different. They got a limited time until they can't have babies and things like that. Men, we can kind of take our time... So, I don't know...

Reem Raw: That's legit. Nah, that's real legit and I just have a problem with the niggas that be... Don't down the sistas because you think "This white girl is better." And a lot of it comes from - I'ma talk about it from my own personal perspective with my peers - they think white women can take a lot more drama and stress than a black woman would. For some reason it's that type of stereotype, and for some white women it is like that. They will take more, but I wouldn't generalize it like that and I wouldn't particularly diss my sistas like that. And for the black women who like white men or who only go for white men, what is about your brothas that you gravitate towards the white man for? Of course we have our issues. White men have their issues too. But don't diss your brothas. Just like I don't want these niggas dissin the sistas, don't diss your brothas. Because we need ya'll as well as you should need us or feel the need to need us. That's my thing about it. And then, I wanted to talk about - if you are in an interracial relationship - be yourself. Because a lot of the stress factors from an interracial relationship is probably gonna come from the background of the families. Your mom - if you're a black man - your mom was probably like "Look, don't bring no white chick through my door." Or if you come from a white family, then you know how they're coming. "Don't bring no niggas through my goddamn screen door! To my porch! To my trailer park!" They're flying the Confederate Flag outside. This is don't stop and go. Do not stop the fuck over here. So ya'll gonna feel a lot of pressure from probably the families the most. And my thing is, don't lose yourself in that. Don't try to assimilate to that. Don't try to act like you're something that you're not. You don't have to start talking white. You don't have to start trying to hide your culture... the way you talk, the way you walk, the way you dress. If they fuck with you, they fuck with you. If they don't, they don't. That's my thing. Don't change yourself. I see a lot of people trying to change their selves and hide their true selves because the families - whether it be black or white - they're not diggin them. So they're trying to suck up or add on to whatever their parents think they should be. Like I'm not the entire representation of my race if I date a white woman. Just like if a black woman dates a white man, she's not the entire representation of her race. You shouldn't have to field off the stereotypes. You either fuck with me for me, or kick rocks.

Interviewer: Yeah, the other thing is just because you're in a relationship with somebody that don't mean... If ya'll two are happy with each other then if the parents accept it, that's cool. But you ain't sign up to be in no relationship with the whole family. As long as you're respectful and all of that. And like you said, you shouldn't be playing no inferiority role just to go out and get somebody from a different race or a different culture or things like that. Don't downplay your blackness or try to make our culture negative or inferior because you feel like you like this white person. That's not cool either. Be you, be proud to be you, and be yourself. Just because you like White don't mean Black is wrong. And that's the problem.

Reem Raw: Exactly. And vice versa. And that's the problem. That's really the problem. And vice versa. And we're  not just speaking in black and white terms. It could be Chinese, whatever Asian, Puerto Rican, Dominican, it doesn't matter. Don't downplay whatever your cultural background is, whatever your heritage is. Be proud of it. Share. Learn. I've had real conversations with white women. They asked about why certain things are the way they are as far as black men. And I break it down for them, and it's a understanding. And I asked "Why is it certain ways, why do white people do certain things?" And everything is healthy from conversation. Healthy conversation breaks down the barriers of these assumptions and these negative stereotypes. Once you have a real conversation with somebody - it ain't even gotta be necessarily a dating situation - just sit down and conversate... Don't be close-minded and just go off you're own stereotypes and your own fears. You gotta sit down and talk about this shit man. This is what we're here for. We're here to talk about this shit. We breaking it down. Ya'll lucky I ain't got a white man in here now breaking it down for ya'll, hahaha.

Interviewer: Truthfully, it's all good as long as you're being yourself. Because to me, the black chick who's being herself and she's attracted to white men, I ain't got no need to get mad because odds are I probably wouldn't be attracted to her. I like black women who are more... black, in their style. If you're attracting white men or are attracted to white men, it's probably something in there that I'm not gonna be attracted to because I'm not a white man. That's not my experience.

Reem Raw: And on the flip side, white men who are attracted to sistas it might be the same way. Like "Oh, I bagged a black woman! I'm cool, I got my hood pass, I'm swaggy! I got some rhythm now!" It could be a whole bunch of factors. You never know. It's all unique to the individual relationship. So don't give people the funny-eyed look when you see them out in public. I know it's easy to do. But don't give them the funny look, looking all crazy and whispering under your breath and shit. Like, you don't know what the situation has called for. And honestly, I'd rather see a sista with somebody who's not gonna whoop her ass and not gonna treat her wrong no matter what color he is. And vice versa. No matter what color she is, as long as she's treating you right and she's doing her job and ya'll both making each other happy, it doesn't matter.

Interviewer: If you're happy, you won. Period. If you're happy, you won. I'm not gonna say wait and pass up the white boy who made you happy and wait another five years for the black dude who's gonna make you happy because I don't even know if he's there! You can't let nobody else be in charge of your happiness. As long as you ain't running around trying to act like white people are better than black people or white men are better than black men and put that in my face, I ain't got no reason to beef with you. So yeah, if you're happy, you won. Now, what makes you happy is on you. If you're being yourself - be honest with yourself first. That's what they say, "To thine own self be true." Be honest with yourself, you know who you are, you know what you like, you know what you don't like, go out and find it, and win! That's it. Win. And I ain't gonna hate on you as a black man. And vice versa, I don't think a black woman should hate on a black man who feels like he's happy with a white woman. Now is that the ideal for me? The perfect situation? No. But are we living in a utopia? No. Is the world perfect? No. Are there white people and other races around us? Yes. Are we gonna bump into some of them and like them? Yes. Is that wrong? No. You know, that's just life. We're human beings. This ain't no beastiality. You ain't jumping on no animals or anything that's unclean or disgusting, so that's natural. We're all made up of different nationalities if you go back far enough. We all came from Adam and Eve, and that's all good man. As long as you're not putting down your people.

Reem Raw: Right, that's the only thing I really care about. It's gotta be - everything has to be for the right reasons. If you're getting with her just because she's white and you feel like you won, then that shit is not gonna last either and vice versa. It's mind boggling to me the way some people think about things. Like "Oh I'm winning if I got this color." That shit's skin deep. That shit is skin deep, and it's not gonna last.

Interviewer: Yeah, you could be a piece of shit white person too.

Reem Raw: Yeah, I don't know where people thing the grass is fuckin greener. Because a white dude who has a lot of money will probably beat the shit out you or neglect the shit out you, or disrespect the shit out you, think he owns you. The grass is not no greener. I don't get it, but it is what it is. I'm glad ya'll hitting me with these questions, these is dope topics. And I want ya'll feedback. Let me know. I want to know what ya'll think about the shit. Is it that serious? Come on ya'll is it that serious? We're in the 2k's.

Interviewer: And if ya'll have been in an interracial relationship, how did that go for you? What was that experience like? What did you learn about that culture? I mean Reem Raw, he's an international lover. He's been all over the world. What you think Reem?

Reem Raw: It's a lot of different flavors out there. Lot of different flavors, lot of different cultures, and it's cool to learn more. Don't be so stuck in your own box. I want to know how Asians operate. I want to know about the Puerto Ricans and the Dominicans and all my Spanish people. I want to taste different foods, want to learn about different cultures. I'm from New York. This the melting pot. There's no way you're going to tell me that I have to stick with this when everything around me is so multi-cultured. It would just be stupid. It would just be so close-minded and life is too short for that. Anybody with a brain is gonna want to explore. Just like you like to travel, just like you like to go to different states, see what niggas in different hood is doing. See what people in other states, how they operate... Don't be scared. Test your flavor. You might like some spices. A little adobo. Arroz con pollo. You might find a whole new groove.

Interviewer: I think part of the interracial dating thing is a lot of people just trying to experiment. The first time they get out of their hometown, the first time they get out of the crib. They want to see what's poppin. And that's what happening sometimes on both sides. She's trying to figure out what's up with him and his people. He's trying to figure out what's good with her and her people. It's normal. I mean, it's been happening man. You can't all of a sudden act like it's strange now, it's been happening since the beginning.

Reem Raw: And I gotta give a shout out to the mothafuckin trolls that be on Twitter and the trolls that be on Facebook because let me tell it, all these racist funny memes and these racist funny posts... the shit be so funny that you have to laugh at it and it kinda breaks down the shield like "Damn, that's some real shit niggas be doing." Or "Damn that's some real shit white boys be doing." Like I seen the one, the picture with the white boy. A crowd of people is laughing at him and he's walking away with the sad face like "They ain't gonna be laughing when these chopper rounds start coming through the school..." Like it's fucked up, but it's real. So certain things like that, you laugh at it and it kinda breaks... like damn we both got our issues, all races got their issues. We need to throw it all out there and get past all that shit. Have a good laugh at it or whatever. Be mad, curse the person out who posted the shit, and move on to the next funny shit. To me, it's a ice breaker in a way. If ya'll know like I know, they got memes for everybody out there... Anybody can get it. So that shit be legit funny. Shout out to the trolls. Shout out to my Hip Hop Debaters! group, my Relationship group and all that. Ya'll keep it fuckin funny. These arguments be hilarious to me. Ya'll be hitting me up in the Gmail too. And we gonna keep this shit moving. I'm about to go throw on Black and White by Michael Jackson right now and moonwalk or some shit. That's how we rockin man. But look, ya'll get with me man ReemRaw609@gmail.com. I need ya'll to send in ya'll comments, I need ya'll to send in ya'll questions. Ya'll want to hit me up, the blog, we're blogging. These podcasts is gonna be coming in every week for ya'll. You already know Empire State of Mines on the way. The latest installment of the Liar Series... Stone Cold Liar. Shit is gonna be bananas. Natural Born on sale. It's $1.99 on Kindle. See, we dropped the price for ya'll. We're dropping the prices for ya'll and hitting ya'll with some good shit. So, I'ma be spreading this shit, ya'll leave ya'll comments. Give me ya'll feedback. Ya'll want to curse me out, ya'll can do that too, it's all good. I'm gonna respond because I ain't no punk ass nigga, so watch your mouth. But it's all good tho. Reem Raw Radio. Fresh Perspective. Fuck with me. We out.