Trap Queens vs. Black Queens (RRR #6)

Interviewer: What up, what up, what up? It's Reem Raw Radio.

Reem Raw: Yerrrrp! What's good with ya'll? Back in effect. Reem Raw Radio. Fresh Perspective. It gets the people goin! What's good with ya'll?

Interviewer: So, this episode we talking about trap queens... and black queens.

Reem Raw: Trap queens vs. black queens... Wow. This what we got going on now, huh? My man Cameraman in the building, we in here putting this work in, you know? Shout out to all my trap queens and my black queens, man I don't discriminate. It's all good.

Interviewer: Word, so I guess the first question for Reem Raw... let's begin with the basics. What is a trap? What's a trap?

Reem Raw: Trap queen is pretty much... you know...

Interviewer: What's the trap itself, first?

Reem Raw: The trap is the trap mentally, you know what I'm saying? You're mentally trapped. You're morally trapped. You're... you're spiritually trapped. You know?  That's the difference. The only difference between a black queen and a trap queen is your moral code, your self-love, your self-respect, your priorities. You know, things like that. It's not a big difference... I mean it is a big difference but it's not a... it's a clear line, you know? That's the only difference. It doesn't matter where you live, what your income is like, what your hair is like, how many kids you got, that doesn't mean anything. It's your self-love, your self-respect, your moral code, and the things that guide you in life, how you handle your priorities.

Interviewer: Ok, so... Let me ask you this: Have you ever had a trap queen?

Reem Raw: Of course... of course... And by that, I mean I had women who... you know, the trap queens is the ones you see really... they want to turn up all the time, their priorities are messed up, they want to follow behind all the niggas, they put they kids second to things, and that all ties into what makes a trap queen. And you gotta put some blame on the men too because and some on the women because the women choose to follow these men who not leading them nowhere, or who don't care for them to lead them, to elevate them in life in general. Period.

Interviewer: Ok, let's put you as an example. When you was hustling, and you had chicks around you helping you run your operation smoothly, or whatever it was. Well, how did you feel about those women? There's some men that's gonna exploit them, there's some men who might try to hide the life from them. What was Reem Raw's approach to these ladies?

Reem Raw: Well see, I had a little bit more of a conscience than some of my homies. A lot of my homies like to control their women... I seen a lot of my homies mentally break these women down to where they become dependent on them, kind of like a pimp breaks his girl down. Totally dependent and thinks how he wants them to think and things of that nature. And when you're hustling, sometimes it's like that. Sometimes you got the chick that you just want to move your pack, hide this, do this, run this here, run this there, risking her freedom along with yours. Or putting her more on the frontline than you. I really couldn't do that, like I said I had more of a conscience than my homies. And I thought about things like that as I was in the mix, so I got a first hand seat on how these things affect women.

Interviewer: So, being that you're a romancer, a lover of women, I'ma assume that you've had your fair share of both types. So let me ask you this: How would you categorize these two types? Or... of your favorite women, would they fall more into the trap queen or the black queen category?

Reem Raw: Ok, and this goes back to the difference between me and my homies. Some of my homies are only attracted to women that they can break down, that they can control. I'm not a controller. I'm not a control freak. I need a woman that's gonna challenge my ideas, bring her own ideas to the table, you know a person with thought and I value their input. I need something like that. A lot of my dogs... want a chick that's reliant on them mentally, financially, whatever. They want to control everything.

Interviewer: Ok, so Reem Raw looking for a black queen right now. Was your last chick a black queen or was she a trap queen? Or does it depend on how you're doing at the time?

Reem Raw: Well let me break it down because I don't feel like I broke it down enough. A black queen is one who loves herself... let's her morals guide her, has her priorities in order, and things of that nature. Let me define the two. The trap queen wants to hang out, priorities is fucked up, running around in the streets after men. Now this is the good thing. A trap queen always has the ability to become a black queen. A lot of black queens used to be trap queens, so they can always elevate. And I want to say something to the black queens too. Don't hate on the trap queens because they need your guidance. They're no different from you. They just need a little tweaking, a little talking to. Instead of bashing them "Oh I'm better..." No. Bring them closer. Help them to realize the error of their ways because a lot of ya'll used to be just like that. A lot of ya'll made some mistakes that made you analyze your own situations. Instead of hating on each other or saying that you're in a better situation, try to bring them closer to you. Try to spread the knowledge of your mistakes... it's two things: Either your parents, parental guidance wasn't really there, or you just made a lot of mistakes. You wanted to go out and do your own thing. That's why I said from the beginning of this. I'm not knocking the trap queens at all. I want them to elevate and I want the black queens who have their morals straight, who've taking care of their responsibilities, who work hard, who do the damn thing to take care of they're families and elevate themselves to help elevate others.

Interviewer: Yeah, that's a good point ladies. It's just a matter of maturity and allowing other ladies to mature at their rate. And not to be competing in the sense that "My shit is better than yours because I'm cooling out and I'm not wildin but you are. You're out there wildin for attention, so that makes me better than you." I get that, I get that.

Reem Raw: Exactly. Everybody needs love, everybody needs guidance. You know?

Interviewer: And you know, there's an age and a time where it's normal to be a young wild person. Now when you're 40, and you're still trying to be the trap queen. That's outlandish. You know, you got kids...

Reem Raw: Even if you don't, you should be working towards some type of goal, working period. You know? Shit like that. Just try to elevate yourself and each other. And don't look down at your sisters if you're in a better space. We need help as people period. Our people need help. And we gotta learn how to lend a helping hand to each other. And sometimes you gotta let a young person mentally do they're thing, figure it out theirselves sometimes, but you don't have to bash em. I got a lot of these chicks hitting me up "Reem, how you feel about these chicks with these wigs?" I like a girl who's natural. Man look, do what makes you feel good! If you like rocking your wig and your shit is in tact, your shit is on point, do your thing. A lot of chicks don't like the natural hair thing, that don't got nothing to do with you being a queen. A queen comes from within. You know? It comes from self-love, it comes from being content and happy with who you are and making sure all your standards is in check... Like a black queen is gonna demand respect. Because she's going to carry herself with respect... A black queen won't get the same type of disrespect as a trap queen. A dude might say "Oh, you're bougie. You're stuck up." Blasé blah. Because you don't carry yourself like a trap queen who's carrying herself like ass all out... You're not gonna get the same type of disrespect. She's gonna get called a hoe. You're gonna get called bougie.

Interviewer: It's really gonna come down to what kind of attention you're looking for, what kind of man you're looking for attention from. The young, wild and partying, wildin out trying to have fun all day mentality versus "I got standards" mentality, and "I'm not accepting A, B, C, and D" whatever your standards are. So, you mentioned the parental thing and doing your own thing... What are some of the other ways that chicks become trap queens? What are the risk factors?

Reem Raw: The risk factors is... well you're risking your freedom... It's some things that you go through in life that you can recover from and it's some things that you can't recover from. You want to avoid - and this goes for men too - you want to avoid making lifelong mistakes that's going to affect you for the rest of your life. You want to make mistakes that you can recover from in time and learn from. Like a dude, you don't want to go and shoot somebody... that'll put you in a position to affect your life for the rest of your life. Everybody makes mistakes, we're just trying to avoid the big ones. And when you're living the trap queen life, when you're out in the mix, I know it's exciting, I been there. It's exciting, you want attention, the wrong type of attention, any attention, so I get it. But try to avoid making mistakes, and then learn from the people around you. Nine times out of ten, before you make a big mistake, you're going to know somebody who's made a big mistake. Those are signs, those should be signs, it's road signs like when you're going down a road you got the yield sign because you know it's going to be traffic down there. You don't want to be speeding because you might slam into something. You gotta be mindful enough to see the signs that's not only in your life, but in the lives of the people around you. And a lot of our brothers and sisters kinda don't peep those signs. When you look back at it, you be like "Damn, such and such went through that" or "I seen that with such and such..." Those are the signs. And that comes with a certain level of maturity too. Some people see them and don't take heed to them and some do. Like "Damn I can't do that bruh, I see how that ended up for such and such. Nah, I think I'ma go this way. Nah, I think I'ma slow down." You gotta peep the signs man. It's rare that you go through something new that you never seen before in that lifestyle.

Interviewer: Right, so those are some of the potential pitfalls. Now, how do you think most chicks in your opinion fall into that lifestyle?

Reem Raw: Well, I think it's a lot of factors that go into that, and let's just take the women that's less fortunate. When you're living in the less fortunate environment, when you're in Section 8, or you're in low income housing. It's kind of hard to see out of that environment to something better. So all you see is the dudes and the type of attention they want and the type of ladies that they want. If you're too bougie, don't nobody want to talk to you. They're going to down you, say you're stuck up. It's hard. It's harder. It's harder to walk through this life with morals. It's harder to keep your head up through what everybody else is doing. It's definitely hard. That's why young people... you gotta go through it first. But you gotta go through it, learn from it, and elevate. Not everybody is gonna just come out a black queen... That comes with good parenting too. And then when you have kids when you're young and you're still a kid. If you don't have a good support system around you, a hell of a support system around you, you can still be a trap queen. You can still have your priorities fucked up. And who does that affect the most? Your kid.

Interviewer: I think one thing about it is, when you're young and you really don't know yourself, it's hard to know who's really deserving of your attention at that point. Because you don't even know yourself yet. So, how are you supposed to be discriminating and discerning enough to say "These guys are not worth my time, why even waste my time trying to get their attention? I won't that guy, only..."

Reem Raw: Your mind isn't even fully grown yet. You're still growing, you're still growing. That's why it's a difference between teenagers and adults. And even some adults, it doesn't matter... I know trap queens who live in condos, who still chase the wrong dudes around. Who still want the wrong attention, who still got their priorities fucked up. They're just living in a "better environment." It's all about the mentality. I don't care where you're living at, what you're doing, it's all about the mentality. Look at these celebrities. Even these people with money who still do the dumb shit, who still chase after the wrong things. A lot of people still aren't mature. Maturity doesn't come with age. It comes with the mentality and what you've been through and what you've learned from. That's what being mature is. What have you learned from? What have you been through? What signs did you see that you avoided? What pitfalls you avoided? That's what maturity is.

Interviewer: So do you think it's the money that's attracting them, or is it the lifestyle?

Reem Raw: It's all of it, it's all of it. Because, with men too, like we said in the last podcast when was talking about the gangs and the whole game. You fall in love with it. You fall in love with the hanging out, partying, and drinking and shit. You're in the mix. Who doesn't? It's only a certain amount of time that you can continue to do that before it brings you down. It's never gonna bring you up. It's always gonna bring you down. It's just how fast or slow it brings you down. It's just how fast that you bump into some shit that puts you on your ass.

Interviewer: So what you're basically saying is that they're addicted to kicking it? And chasing the crowd, and being cool and those type of things.

Reem Raw: Yeah, especially when you're whole environment is doing it. That's why it takes a strong parental household or some type of guidance around you to at least keep you in some sort of check. You're still gonna do you, but at least you're gonna have somebody in your ear or a little voice... Even when I was out there doing my thing, I always heard a voice in the back of my mind. The voice of reason, the voice of my parents talking to me like "Yo, you know better." Now are you gonna do it? It's on you. But imagine the people who don't even have that voice. At least I had the voice in the back of my head. I knew. I heard my peoples clearly. Before I did anything, I heard them clearly. So just imagine the people who doesn't have that voice. They're just going through it.

Interviewer: So what we're saying then is, to be a queen you gotta see a queen?

Reem Raw: Exactly. You gotta see a queen. You gotta wanna be a queen. Because you're gonna see the fucked up parts of this game. My trap queens are gonna see the fucked up parts of this game. Are you gonna see that and believe in yourself that you can be better than this? Want to be better than this? Or are you gonna just succumb to it like "This is all I'll ever be. This is all I ever wanna do. I love this, I love this, I love this." Some people never learn. You know?

Interviewer: Have you ever seen a chick successfully make that transition in your life?

Reem Raw: Yes. Plenty. Plenty. And it's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing. It's chicks that was very immature, sometimes very loose and always in the mix. And sometimes when they had children, the maternal instinct kicked in, slowed down, they started living for their kids. They're not perfect. Nobody's perfect, but you can see the change in them. And if you're a man, a real man, you're gonna applaud that and start treating her with a certain level of respect. And you're gonna want to give her words of encouragement to keep on going like "Damn sis, I seen what you went through. I see what you're going through. I know your background. That's what's up. Do your thing. Keep doing your thing." Don't come around her with that bullshit trying to bring her back down... If you're a real man then try to continue to elevate her to higher standards.

Interviewer: So, that being said, if you see one acknowledge her...

Reem Raw: If you see one, salute her! Salute her! Salute a hard working woman that's going to work everyday busting her ass, even if she don't have kids because it's hard enough in this world without them. But if you got them, they come first. You bear their pain. You bear the weight of the world on your shoulders because you had them. Now you don't have a choice. The thing is to now embrace that struggle. It's gonna be a struggle, so embrace it. Woman up. Put your crown on. Brush your shoulders off. And get to it. You're gonna stumble. You're gonna make mistakes. Keep yourself focused. Try to surround yourself with good people, positive people, and positive thoughts, and keep it pushing.

Interviewer: So, what would you say in terms of the men that a black queen goes after? What is she looking for compared to the dudes that's always in the mix, kicking it on the corner or whatever?

Reem Raw: A black queen is looking for a dude... I can see their plight. They really have a plight too because... She's trying to not have a dude 1) waste her time. Because her time is precious. She's trying to keep herself on track. Not waste her time and 2) not bring her back down. Not bring her down, not bring her any drop in her elevation. She's trying to keep it going.

Interviewer: Got it, got it. Aight.

Reem Raw: So, that's Trap Queen vs. Black Queen ya'll. I want ya'll to hit me up on Facebook: Kharim Thompson. Hit me up on the Gram: Rawmello609. This is Team Noire all day. Me and my man Cameraman, this podcast gonna be poppin. Let me know your questions, give me your feedback when I post this, and let's get it.